Creature of habit? Or plain boring!

I never saw this coming. I always thought that i am unpredictable! But that changed. When that changed happened is something that even I am not sure about. What I thought had changed in the last decade. Yup! Imagine me saying a decade.

Some of decisions have brought me here, some I am proud of, others not so much! Somewhere down the line I started a time table and that my friends is what bothers me. I always prided my self on reinventing myself and what I do! But I don’t remember the last time I went out and did something that made me laugh like a child or made me forget the worldly problems for a little while. When did my view of life became grim is what I am questioning myself about now. I lost touch with the people who care, my friends.. I cut myself off from people without even realising what I have done. It all started with the excuse of excessive work.. The line became blurred and as a result I find myself strangely without friends.

Not something that I am proud of!! So how does one change that? And does one want too? Yes, I have had my share of disappointments, but then who doesn’t? Do you let those disappointments define your future equations or do you learn and move on? I, am afraid that I am guilty of letting my experiences cloud my judgement. So how does one get out of the rut created? Well that’s one question I am looking for an answer to.. And I hope I find it soon enough..

Dreams

To have a dream. The one which you think of in the day and dream in the night. Each of us has that. For some it’s means of getting away from the reality. And for others it’s making it in to a reality. Which category do I fall under? I thought to myself. Both is the answer I came to. There are a few dreams which I know will be reality. Sooner than later if all goes well. Which it should. And a few, well I don’t think I am going to bump into Hugh grant, nor is it going to be love at first sight. So that remains a childish dream to giggle about.

I am one of those great believers of dreams. For me, they keep me going. If not for them, I would have lost my sanity a long time back. So dream on I say! Some make you smile, some make you believe. Some make you fall in love and well some are just silly dreams. Dream for you never know which one actually becomes a reality.

Wheel Of Time- Robert Jordan

A few years back while browsing in a book store, I stumbled upon a book called “the eye of the world”. After reading the blurb, I decided to pick it up. And that proved to be a very rewarding and satisfying decision in the years to come. The wheel of time series has become my comfort read, my all time favourite.. It’s a journey that I am willing to take all over again and again and again with Rand Al Thor- The Dragon Reborn.

Spilt in 14 books, fat 14 books for a glutton like me. When I started reading 9 out 14 had been published. Like millions others, I too waited for the grand epic fantasy series to take me to the age of legends again. 2003 is when the 10th book got published. In one night I devoured the book. And next day itself, started from the first part. And then I began to wait again. 2 years later I went to the whole cycle again. And then tragedy struck. Robert Jordan- the creator, the author of the books passed away. I was saddened that I might never know what happened to the characters I had grown to love Lan, Mat, Perrin and Rand. What I knew of Mr. Jordan was from the net, from reading his books an as once of his loyal followers of WOT, his untimely death left a void too. Mrs. Harriet, his wife got us Brandon Sanderson to finish the legacy her husband left behind.

Mr. Brandon stepped in to his shoes and how, hats off to the man to have penned the last 3 books with his own unique style yet holding true to the creator of Wheel Of Time. Each book left me waiting for the grand epic finale- A Memory Of Light. From the 1st page itself, this has you tight in its grip. Yes, I ptoo feel proud to see what a man Rand has become. He wears the mantle given to him. His journey, the way his character has been written is a masters work. You laugh with him, you cry with him, you hate him and yet you love me. You want to reach out and protect him. But in the end, you too read the MOL with a proud smile on your face. I know I did.

Each character, each journey is tied up so neatly that one is left wanting for more. From Moiraine return to Mat’s gamble, and to read Lan rising up against the forsaken. Each page had me in a smile, or a watery smile or a very proud mother hen smile. Each page brought out emotions in me, the last battle described so clearly, the sounds the smell, the terror and the courage is so vivid that I saw it happen in front of me.

Promise made with the first book is delivered. The story wraps up nicely with a bow on top. Yes, there are reviews that say a few of the books went off the plot, I am of opposite opinion. Because those books didn’t centre on Rand Al Thor doesn’t mean that they went off track. Theme remains the same, good vs evil. Mat and Perrin needed to those books and chapters dedicated to them because they formed the crux of the last battle. It’s has been a very satisfying journey for me. The previous book had me clapping and cheering for Rand. I too wanted to cheer when Perrin finally accepts that the last hunt is his to lead. And Mat! Well, he is the hero cause he does bring Moiraine back!!

This is one epic fantasy series that will always remain top amongst the re- readable material. Over and over again.

The Wheel Of Time
Robert Jordan-1 to 11

Brandon Sanderson- 12 to 14

A Rainy Day

Rainy sunday.. Melancholic mood as dark as the skies.. Thoughts that cry.. Despair sets in fueled by the tears.. The raindrops now disturb the mood set by the sky.

To sit alone by the window, watch the rain fall down.. Consumed by thoughts left alone deep despair it led to. Think not those thoughts, which bring a tear.. Think of joy, think of love. Try and lift your heart up. No matter how dark the sky, a hug is always near by. Forgot not those who love you in their shade aspire to be. Bring a smile to wear for ever indeed.. Dance in rain, scream with the winds, feel yourself and the world around. And that’s the way to be.

Love and then what..

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Boy meet girl, girl meets boy. Sparks fly. And then love bites. Long phone calls through the night. Pining each minute to be by their side. Hugs and kisses can’t convey the emotions on the inside. Or so we feel. And then what?

No, I am not un romantic. I just wonder and continue to wonder after I fell in love with my soul mate. We are not together any more. Yet I feel that he was the one. Why? Because he brought out the emotions. Love. Adoration. Warmth. Security. Hate. Anger. and yet, together as great we were, we were also as misfitted together as chalk and cheese. A huge part of my life has been with him. Yet, we stand alone.. Together.

People wonder and question us, I can’t explain it. But was it healthy? Feeling angry more often, being on your guard, yet when things were easy its was difficult to imagine it being any another way. But still, differences, clash of personalities, black and white, couldn’t merge together without wiping one out.

Soul mates doesn’t necessarily mean you have to marry them. Doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to be of the opposite sex. Soul mates means what it says. Soul mates. The mistake I made with mine and stand to loose is that I confused it will love. Chemistry and friendship doesn’t always end up in true love.

True love exists and I hold that true in my heart. Maybe my knight is in front of me and I am blind to him. Or maybe he came and went without me recognizing him. Either ways, I am still hopeful. So that gotta stand for something.

Till then.

A Perfect Life

Everyone has problems, insecurities, flaws and one also has to learn how to compromise, to overlook, to forgive. It’s not settling down. It’s life.

Life is not picture perfect, our emotions, the flaws, the mistakes and the learnings are what makes us human. We go through our lives wanting it to be perfect, like the books we read and the films we watch. They aspire us to make that for ourselves. Not realizing that each one of our lives are perfect. Why? Because we are alive.

Alive and surrounded by our family, our friends. We are so busy trying to get that perfect life that we miss those moments that make it a perfect life.

We miss important moments because for almost every one of the work comes first. We justify it to ourselves saying that if we don’t then who will? It’s easier to blame or even set targets for our professional lives. Year after year we via for a better promotion, better salary.. It’s a never ending saga. Very few us can manage to maintain the balance. The key lies in doing it sensibly. Logically. And rationally.